and this is when it's really hard to say quite how i feel

hey there friends

I'm sure a lot of you know this weekend is the 2009 Miss Vermont and Miss Vermont's Outstanding Teen pageant. That means that I will be giving up my title, performing as the state teen for the last time and crowning somebody new. WOw! A whole year went by that fast? how did that happen? it's funny because as the pageant draws closer every minute I am not really sure how I even feel about this! I am excited to be passing on the crown! I really am so thrilled to see all of the contestants and watch them compete and to give the title to the new girl! But of course I also feel sad because after Saturday is over I will no longer be the state titleholder. I will never again sit in a car with signs with my name on them in the windows and wave at people with a crown on my head as this title. I will never perform on the piano as this title again. I am sad to see this year ending and there is always of course the feeling of wishing I had done more, wondering if there was some other way I could have used the title that was given me. Was there something different I should have done? Did I represent my state well? I am full of questions, regrets, happy memories,satisfaction, anticipation, excitement! I feel a bit relieved in a way that I will now be moving on. I somehow feel resolved, like my time has come, I have served my term and now it is someone else's turn to do the job. Yet at the same time I know that I will miss it! I have many things to look forward to this summer and the coming school year. I recently received the role of Cinderella in the Rogers and Hammerstein musical with a local theatre company and I am thrilled to be spending my time performing. I will be on the xcountry running team this fall which is also exciting. I have all of these things to look forward to but at the same time I know that probably nothing I do this summer could possibly be as exciting as nationals was last summer!

I feel like throughout this year Miss Vermont's Outstanding teen 08 has become a part of my identity and after Saturday that part of me might be lost! It's a little bit scary! But I guess what's really important is knowing that I will always hold the title of the 2008 teen. The many things I've learned this year will go with me wherever life takes me. The memories I have can never be taken away and the things I've learned about pageantry, about how people work, and mostly about myself are things that will benefit me my whole life! and I guess it's good to remember that I will always be me no matter what title I hold. That I need to stay true to who I am and what I believe in no matter who is interviewing me or what organization I represent.

Well, thanks for listening to me think myself through all this! au revior for now!

Blaize Hall

your miss VT Outstanding Teen 08

p.s. special special thanks to Caroline my mentor in SO MANY WAYS!!! thank you for everything you did to help me last summer and for all that you taught me. you are the best!

thanks to my mom, grandmother,Dave and Marie, Red Clover, Sue, Pam, Belinda and many others! It wouldn't have happened without you!